More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
