You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
