Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
