Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
