apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize