My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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