He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
