yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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