"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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