Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
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