it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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