It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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