I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He felt like a one man threesome
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
