hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize