I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
