I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
