Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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