The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize