with your own penis?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
