The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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