Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
