girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
