my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i wish my penis had a tongue
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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