Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
