I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
