I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
