Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
