i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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