just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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