Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
