last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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