I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize