mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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