called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
