I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
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