i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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