he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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