She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
