A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
