we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Randomize