I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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