Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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