i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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