Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
