I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
