pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Thank you for not boning my boss.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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