She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
