you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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