I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
