I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
