Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I wear drunk well.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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