I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
