Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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