Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
