The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize