Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize