My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
