Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
