Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
