He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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