even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
love makes seman taste better
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
