This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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